sometimes, I really just want to move back to Oakland. and live the adult life in Oakland I always dreamt of. Don't get me wrong, LA is sick. But it just ain't the bay.
At the end of the day, this is how I see it for me personally:
Los Angeles is good for work and little social life, and right now I need to work to get myself to where I want to be, and that will only happen in LA or traveling abroad working [eventually].
The Bay is good for kinda working and having an amazing social life. Right now, Oakland isn't what will work for me in the end so that's why I don't live there (well...a fraction of the reason).
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
"Life of a Virgo" I
Virgo and Friendship:
People look up to Virgo for friends because they are straight thinkers and solve problems logically. They are truthful, loyal and determined. Some people might find them cold or emotionally detached because they live in their minds, not in their emotions and feelings. It might be hard to pin down how a Virgo friend is feeling because they easily live in denial. A person who is able to read deep into another person will notice when Virgo is not well but if they confront them about it, they would rather retreat then talk about it. It is best to keep your emotional distance from a Virgo friend unless they open up to you first. Virgo might try to analyze and control a friend's life but only with the idea that they will improve their life, not purely for the sake of controlling. Be patient with your Virgo friend and understand that their recommendations are only to make your life better.
People look up to Virgo for friends because they are straight thinkers and solve problems logically. They are truthful, loyal and determined. Some people might find them cold or emotionally detached because they live in their minds, not in their emotions and feelings. It might be hard to pin down how a Virgo friend is feeling because they easily live in denial. A person who is able to read deep into another person will notice when Virgo is not well but if they confront them about it, they would rather retreat then talk about it. It is best to keep your emotional distance from a Virgo friend unless they open up to you first. Virgo might try to analyze and control a friend's life but only with the idea that they will improve their life, not purely for the sake of controlling. Be patient with your Virgo friend and understand that their recommendations are only to make your life better.
(Source: http://idiotsandgenious.blogspot.com/2011/07/virgo.html)
This couldn't describe my friendships any better...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Oh Blimey - "These Dreams"
New official music video directed by Kolepha Phy.
Oh Blimey, my biggest inspiration and favorite heroine. A personal friend of mine. This girl has accomplished so much since we were 14 and spending our days on MySpace. Watching her do the big things she has done, I can only push myself to do more. And now we're both living in LA and attached at the hip when we're together. We only push and motivate each other to do bigger and better things. Do it girl! And thank you for all the advice and love you have shown me!
inspired
Just finished watching Invisible Children Inc. campaign documentary for #KONY2012. It reminded and inspired me to start doing something on my documentary I've been procrastinating on.
I made the promise to myself that a majority of my films would be focused on women, but in a different tone of light from how women are usually protrayed. In Fall 2010 I took an English class at Berkeley City College and ended up writing this really intense essay about females and their obstacles between them and obtaining education. It was something that I had to narrow down to only twelve pages but had SO much more to say about it. So months after taking the course, I decided that I would turn my essay into a documentary one day. It's been a year and a half since I wrote it, and still have done NOTHING about it. But after watching the Invisible Children campaign video it reminded me of the idea that I have yet to form into something greater. So let's do this!
<3 D
I made the promise to myself that a majority of my films would be focused on women, but in a different tone of light from how women are usually protrayed. In Fall 2010 I took an English class at Berkeley City College and ended up writing this really intense essay about females and their obstacles between them and obtaining education. It was something that I had to narrow down to only twelve pages but had SO much more to say about it. So months after taking the course, I decided that I would turn my essay into a documentary one day. It's been a year and a half since I wrote it, and still have done NOTHING about it. But after watching the Invisible Children campaign video it reminded me of the idea that I have yet to form into something greater. So let's do this!
<3 D
Friday, March 2, 2012
listen.
virgos we sit back and listen, till our minds are over driven.
till my self can't take no more, till i'm over tryin to look like a whore.
till my self can't take no more, till i'm over tryin to look like a whore.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
l0ve
IGGY AZALEA x A$VP ROCKY
I fuckin' love these two artists. and the fact that they're dating now only makes me ecstatic. They both are fresh and making new music (whether it's relevant or not) and it excites me that their worlds are colliding. fuck. i think they are so rad.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
I'm better than that.
I'm moving! And I'm so fucking excited. The place I've been residing since October is in the westside of LA pretty close to Venice. Nice neighborhood, spacious house...crazy landlord. Invasive, annoying and ridiculously crazy. Always texting me, "accidentally" opened my tax returns, constantly in house and a snake for $$. And the woman I've been sharing my bathroom with the last few months is rude, acts like the house is hers and constantly moving my shit. I can't wait to tell her and my landlord to go fuck themselves.
Feeling less anxiety about moving into an apt that's actually mine (well, shared with my boyfriend). But it was kinda scaring the shit out of me the last few weeks. Stress was rising and my anxiety had been worsening, though I do my best to hide it under a plethora of sarcasm and taking anger out on innocents. That's my biggest issue I still struggle with. Taking my anger out on people that have absolutely NOTHING to do with the initial problem. I'm done with blaming my lack of trust for people and lack of effort to make friendships or even enjoy my current relationship on my previous one. It last almost two years. It was filled with emotional, mental, verbal and physical abuse. At the time I could never admit it. Even a year later, I still couldn't say it was all that. But looking back at it, it was every bit of that. I [bascially] lived with him and his family for over a year. Trusted his mom more than mine, had love for his little sister as though she was mine and invested more time into his family than I did mine. After the first 6 months, problems arised. Cheating, insecurity, lies, crazed arguments turning into fights, police involvement, drugs and isolation from family friends and myself. Unfortunately, the cheating and lying was being done on me, but shit, I didn't give a fuck and still gave into it. We'd break up every week, he'd leave me for another girl and I'd crawl back to him the day after. I'd complain to my friends about him and then try to bring him along with us for a night out the next minute. We'd fight, I'd cry, he'd degrade me lower than hell and I'd love him the next day. He was my weakness, my funny bone, my first, my best friend. Eventually, I learned that he wasn't worth it. That no one would EVER be worth it. Worth that many tears, that much anger, that much saddness. Worth making me feel like I was a piece of shit and deserved nothing better. But it's that relationship that I struggle to move past and trust future friendships and enjoy my current relationship.
To make this clear, I wrote this blog to let other woman that they're not the only one going through this if you are, or have. Things DO get better. I've learned so much about myself and what my boundaries and standards are. I have an amazing boyfriend who gets me and I get him. At the end of the day, it's about trust, communication and respect. In any relation: work, friendship or love.
<3 D
Feeling less anxiety about moving into an apt that's actually mine (well, shared with my boyfriend). But it was kinda scaring the shit out of me the last few weeks. Stress was rising and my anxiety had been worsening, though I do my best to hide it under a plethora of sarcasm and taking anger out on innocents. That's my biggest issue I still struggle with. Taking my anger out on people that have absolutely NOTHING to do with the initial problem. I'm done with blaming my lack of trust for people and lack of effort to make friendships or even enjoy my current relationship on my previous one. It last almost two years. It was filled with emotional, mental, verbal and physical abuse. At the time I could never admit it. Even a year later, I still couldn't say it was all that. But looking back at it, it was every bit of that. I [bascially] lived with him and his family for over a year. Trusted his mom more than mine, had love for his little sister as though she was mine and invested more time into his family than I did mine. After the first 6 months, problems arised. Cheating, insecurity, lies, crazed arguments turning into fights, police involvement, drugs and isolation from family friends and myself. Unfortunately, the cheating and lying was being done on me, but shit, I didn't give a fuck and still gave into it. We'd break up every week, he'd leave me for another girl and I'd crawl back to him the day after. I'd complain to my friends about him and then try to bring him along with us for a night out the next minute. We'd fight, I'd cry, he'd degrade me lower than hell and I'd love him the next day. He was my weakness, my funny bone, my first, my best friend. Eventually, I learned that he wasn't worth it. That no one would EVER be worth it. Worth that many tears, that much anger, that much saddness. Worth making me feel like I was a piece of shit and deserved nothing better. But it's that relationship that I struggle to move past and trust future friendships and enjoy my current relationship.
To make this clear, I wrote this blog to let other woman that they're not the only one going through this if you are, or have. Things DO get better. I've learned so much about myself and what my boundaries and standards are. I have an amazing boyfriend who gets me and I get him. At the end of the day, it's about trust, communication and respect. In any relation: work, friendship or love.
<3 D
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